10 Trashy Horrors for Halloween ’18

If you’ve got a soft spot for trashy, silly, and unscary horrors, this list is just what you need to inject a little more excitement into your Halloween party, movie marathon, or quiet night alone ignoring the kids at the door. No matter what your preferred style of freaky movie is, I’m sure you’ll find something that screams at you from this rubbish heap of genre-film glory….

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Camp Fear (1991) – Enter at your own risk

This is a true zero-budget, straight-to-VHS horror about sorority sisters getting preyed upon in the woods, made by a one credit wonder. Clichés and hideous caricatures run rampant through the repetitive and derivative story, and the production quality is just appalling. Needless to say, Camp Fear is pure garbage, yet I would’ve been bitterly disappointed by anything else…

Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991) – Samurai Dolph

Showdown in Little Tokyo has Swedish stud Dolph Lundgren lifting cars and throwing stars. It also has Brandon Lee showing his martial arts chops, yes the son of Bruce. There’s not much call for dramatic acting, just bring more arses for them to kick. To my delight, wisecracks and one-liners flow as if the 80s never ended, so do bullets, fists, and feet, all ending in a suitably explosive climax…

American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) – baby on board

This one is right up there with the best of the trashy, post-apocalyptic sci-fis so strap in, press play, and enjoy the ride. Its got everything you didn’t even know you wanted – shanty towns, unstoppable cyborgs, dystopian sex punks, underground lepers, and an epic mission to deliver the one fertile woman in all the Americas to safety. Did I mention her tank-dwelling foetus?…

The Allnighter (1987) – All night long

The Allnighter is a little-known gem featuring a little, but largely-known woman – Susanna Hoffs. That’s one third of The Bangles, the group that walked like Egyptians. The movie is a female-centred take on the coming of age genre, which is kind of clever and refreshing, unfortunately though the narrative is shallow and haphazard, and the acting a little weak. That said, with all the space left by a general lack of substance, the movie packs in a lot of totally 80s goodness…

Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) – Trouble in paradise

What a movie Sidaris has blessed us with here. What a legacy he has left. Hard Ticket to Hawaii is such a fine example of how bad movies can be some of the most enjoyable cinematic experiences available. Sure, it’s trashy, cheesy, and a little seedy, but it’s done with a cheeky grin and a twinkle in the eye…

Elves (1989) – Crazy Christmas chaos

It’s always hard to choose just which of the joyful and triumphant slew of holiday horrors to go for, but Elves is certainly a special one, even by those standards. First time filmmaker Jeff Mandel has stuffed all sorts of goodies into this bountiful stocking, like pervert delinquents, disturbingly dodgy animatronics, and Nazi grandpas. And that’s only just peeling the wrapping…