American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) – baby on board

This one is right up there with the best of the trashy, post-apocalyptic sci-fis so strap in, press play, and enjoy the ride. Its got everything you didn’t even know you wanted – shanty towns, unstoppable cyborgs, dystopian sex punks, underground lepers, and an epic mission to deliver the one fertile woman in all the Americas to safety. Did I mention her tank-dwelling foetus?…

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Mutant Hunt (1987) – Junkie robots get junked

Mutant Hunt is pure, kitschy, low budget Sci-fi, featuring a totally unoriginal story, soundtracked to cheap perfection, and packed full of woeful action. Everything from Blade Runner to The Terminator has been unashamedly copied and stuffed with an impressive amount of narrative offal. Oh, and for a movie filled with fight scenes, these are some of the worst you’ll ever see…

Biohazard (1985) – Warning: dangerous goods

Springing from the fertile mind of trash auteur Fred Olen Ray, this is a ridiculous adventure chronicling the arrival and escape of an alien, leaving a trail of destruction, murdered townsfolk, and pop culture references. If you’ve ever wondered where Stranger Things got its ideas from check this one out, not that this cheap scare flick is particularly original itself…

Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987) – To infinity and beyond!

The poster promises “Big Movie. Big Production. Big Girls.” I’m not convinced they thought too hard about the last part, and the rest is an outright lie. What we do get is a tacky, Star Wars take on Richard Connell’s short story The Most Dangerous Game. So it goes, our unsuspecting, shipwrecked slave girls stumble into the dark and misty world of an insane hunter hermit and must fight for their freedom…

Cyclone (1987) – Superbikes and synthesisers

Don’t be fooled by the title, this is not a lame disaster movie about inclement weather, it’s actually an awesome, totally 80s, on-the-run flick, involving a radical, military prototype motorbike that shoots lasers and runs on hydrogen. There’s a tonne of goodness on offer, including a half-decent story, a sweet future bike, destructive car chases, teen heartthrob Heather Thomas, and stuntman extraordinaire Dar Robinson…

Robo Vampire (1988) – You won’t believe your eyes

Prepare your whole body, all of your senses, and warn your immediate family, because Robo Vampire is an experience out of this world. It features a trash can RoboCop, brought to life in Hong Kong to fight a minor drug lord and a Chinese wizard who controls jumping, flipping, smoke breathing, firework shooting, immortal vampires. Take that and throw in half an hour of Thai (I think) mercenaries recovering prisoners from evil dudes, the kind who throw jumbo cartons of eggs on the ground for no reason…